Ever think to ask?

             Ever feel alone when surrounded by family?
Walking in a room of familiarity but like a lost
child unfound. So hard some days to be spontaneously
bouncing and cheerful when the plastic hugs
mean nothing.

             Yet here I am. Standing, wandering from
person to person in hopes of someone genuinely
concerned for me. Does any reach? No.

              So down the concrete walkway I go. Not
really in a hurry to get to an empty shell of a
home but not wanting to stick around waiting for
a shout out either.

             Gathered my tears up until I find myself
seated in my car. So embarrassing that I had hoped
someone noticed the facade. Yet who was I kidding
but myself.

              Still so many try to make a laugh. I smile
in hopes of encouraging them on their trials.
Then the smiles drop all over. My tears gather and
pour. The stress of holding a straight face
to so many just breaks.

                Even in those tender moments of
kind words of soothing I still don't gain the
reassurance of any one push.

                Ah then Jehovah hears the cries.
Taking me in his arms I sigh. The softness of
his wind wipes away the stains left on my
cheeks. The trails of water die.

                Then warmth of concern and love
overpower me. Someone did notice. The effort
of bravery was broken, seen down to the
hurt. Ah ever feel the release of grieving sighs?

              Oh understand I can only hold so much
inside. When, now I pray once more someone
can read passed the smiles, the hugs of concern
I display. Yes I want someone to know I
hurt even when I stand tall.

             Ever think to ask?