I need more than ever

Suprisingly the tangents that trip and trigger inside my mind. The dangling shards of glassed mirrors before my eyes.

Trembling I am is that I realized you really didn't know.  Oh how that hurts me worse. Even more so is that I let YOU down. Never really being a good person to you.

The tidbits of doubt. Oh how I stab myself with even hate. The trickery of the emotions. Did I even once think of how deep my hurt, my pain my affect someone else.

Indeed I feel like a traitor to a good friend. The tearings inside me just laugh because stating what happens in those moments.. Oh I am so angry at myself.

I hurt you. Never stop believing I care, I need and I want what is given. Oh I chide myself. Praying, hoping nothing is damaged.

Alas one can really hope. Indeed I will see.

Dare I dream sweetly. Dare I hope I haven't severed. Dare I indeed. Truth be told in hours or days later.

Time will be my companion. Maybe a smile.

Oh how I need but probably don't deserve. I hurt you. I am sorry.

Right now, more than ever I need. Indeed a hope. A hug. A prayer. A word.

I will continue to learn. Growing. Being me.
I hope that is good enough. Oh I hope.

I need to know.