Scattered memories, I am beautiful

Selections of past and pressures of today you would think I could not move. Yet I do. Keep going. The words that keep coming scream so loud my brain is running scared.
The rattles that quake inside me just appear to be never-ending and still I pick up the thorns, keep going.
Did I ever think I was beautiful? No. I just believed I was me. Was that not enough to some? Maybe. At moments I didn't care. So many times I just was me, just bent on being unique. Never really following the pack. Still the want to fit in. All my life I didn't like labels because I was not one that fit in. I floated.
Still the hope that just once I fit under a "name". I roamed unclear to where I was going, just being me. I always hoped that was good enough.
Today I don't feel left out. I know where I belong. I am grateful for that. The longing I had for a home, a sense of being loved was there before me all along. I just had to open my heart, my eyes for what is the truth of life. It took me 36 years to find it. All along there were many seeds dropped. Growing, taking root.
Unbelievable in the one that finally made me realize what I was seeing. Astonishing is who Jehovah used to really draw me into his folds. Thank you Jehovah.
Seeds planted. Many on uneven soil but the depth of the seed cast that day. I still shake my head in amazement. In fact I cry in joy, pain and laughter of the sense of humor Jehovah has. Truly remarkable.
Now as the scattering memories fall I am saddened when I saw what type of person I was. Still I am a babe and growing. Many opportunities await me just as long as I cling to Jehovah.
One day at a time. I am imperfect and a sinner. I must remember how that affects the thoughts I have and the actions I make. Indeed one foot in front of the other. Gathering strength in just being me. Jehovah sees. Jehovah knows.
Indeed I grow. Maturing to a teenager. I pray my rebellious nature stays declining. Oh how I hope the positive presses passed the negative and I remain close to my grand father, Jehovah.
Ah the worry that settles on my shoulders, I must remember Jehovah will help me. Endure and overcome. Indeed changes will happen and I will learn. One step at a time.
Indeed I am beautiful - to Jehovah. I am one of his children. That is the best name to fit into.

Thank you Jehovah for my reminder I AM important to you.