Love to learn

  The world spins but I sit tight.
Not letting things crowd me. Almost
as though I am phased out into another
thought.

  The mind runs away as the trickles
of senseless laughter erupts inside
of me. So careful I let each tendril
escape into a hushed silence.

  The peaceful irony finds a root and
clings tightly upon my bones. Chilling
me momentarily. Soft echoes find
a way to unravel the bindings I am
suffocating from.

  Indeed would you have ever guessed
how solo the walk is? Silently I hope
for companionship and love.
Shh don't tell anyone of my hope.

  Only to spare what may hurt.  I tire
of the constant appearances and the
well laid plans. Shoved to the side.
At last I am humble. I do not deserve
such greetings of hopes.

  Yet I close my eyes and dream.
Dare I disclose any real dream but
those vague ones drawn out.

  The only want is that of genuine
love. Indeed I say so much that
contrasts that very idea.
And here I beg for it. I stay quiet
knowing I am no match for anyone.

Those who are near find a good
friend in me or deem me to closed,
frigid. Sorry for those who feel
as I am that. Just tired of being
torn.

  If those who do step passed the
cold, brick wall see something of a
spark why not open more?

  Alas I cannot imagine why they
do not. I just lean upon one.
Jehovah.

  Today the sighs come and the
endurance holds high. The crashes
against me bicker and I stiffen.
Indeed I am gaining strength to know
when I am worth. Indeed
I keep moving so this world cannot
dent me.

So here I talk to those who want to
know, want to dive in and seek
who I am. Just talk. Ask questions.
Learn. Listen and be genuine.

  You will see I love to learn too.