I smile

            Today I smiled greatly upon the pain experiencing.
Joyful that I am enduring one more day. So hopeful
to when the new system arrives and I gradually will become
complete.

             Today I smiled. So wide, so gleefully. Such a
kindness in laughter of nerves. Rattled to an extent
but hopeful of relaxation to come.

             Ever so slight was the violets. They glimmered
behind the storms. The lighthearted skipping of
the giggles held me long.

              So much of a sigh is expressed as the day
fell from cloudy to damp. Still a softness in a smile,
yes? The forgetfulness of burning nerves and
unwinding the tangled whimpers to form light
ohs.

              So gentle were the almond shaped purple
hues. The radiance of overwhelming love and
support helped make one more day pleasurable.

              Indeed even now as the wrecked legs
are shaken I hold onto my hope. The one day when
all will be wiped away. Indeed I cling to my
Father, Jehovah for this wonderful news.

              Enduring the deafening shrieks of fire
inside my legs, down to my toes. I am thankful for
this suffering for I know one more day I gained
joy, happiness and tons of love.

             How could anyone ever think Jehovah, God
wants his children to suffer or that he causes it.
No. I do not have reason to hate Jehovah nor blame
him for my pain, my suffering. I blame my mistakes,
my imperfections for the delayed responses
to the afterwaves.

           Indeed I am grateful, yes GRATEFUL, for
my pain, my tears and my anguish. Yes I am continuing
in my time to serve Jehovah the best I can.

           Yes there will be days I enjoy many hours
of service, forgetting all about the fiery burn in each
step. Yes there will be days when I press a smile across
my lips to stablize the pain. Yes there will be
times when I want only to curl into a tight ball,
trying to erase that I am here but I am happy knowing
Jehovah helps carry me when I cannot move.

          So pardon my days of emotional outburst, the
forced smiles and the grand pourings of water. By no
means do I ask pity, by no means do I need sympathy.
What I need, all I can hope for, to be given is that
of love, of encouragement and that of gentle reminders
of Jehovah's promises.

        Yes I lean here against my red cushions on my
sofa, having a rattling placed upon my throbbing legs
and dream of a good night without long periods of
tears. Yes I hope. I pray for that one day of Jehovah's
promise.

        Until then I smile because I endure. I smile for
the joy and love of suffering. Lastly I smile because
I have faith, hope and love surrounding me. Alas I am
capable of all things with Jehovah as my stronghold.

                               How about you?