Caution of me

           By all means I am a bit taken back by the
nerves. So rattled and yet no surprised. The evening
provides such wonders and opens up the mixed
emotions.

          Ah alas I don't dare display a bit of uncertainty.
I just remain uneasy within myself. Cautiously
walking. Searching and hoping.

          The tender moments of low times find me
crying. Terrible at the recovering moments, I just
stand swaying in the wind. A prayer opens wide
and the smile finds me. Bringing such joy when
I need it the most.

         A sigh falls and the shivers break over
the warmth. Silence holds us higher. A tiny model
of how things should be emerges. Slight giggles
erupt and giddiness begins.

        Still I cannot hold onto all that is there.
So bear with me when my losing trust in you
begins. Only know it is temporary and that it
is my own insecurities that pull this negativity
over me.

       So please, I hope, you find time to say
hello. Telling me to just breathe, as I have done
for you.

       Now here I enter the morning light. Decorated
in red and taupe. A slight hope increases. Perhaps
just a lifting I need for the day. Entertain the
idea, please.

       Even though you may not, I am still hoping
that somewhere in the day it is seen. Here I am
wondering if just once you notice me in my
weakness and NOT back off, thinking this is
a "Mary Moment". How so degrading that is.

       So understand my fits are just as emotional
as yours. For once the notice that I am cracking
in the middle. Perhaps you are familiar. Who
knows.

       Here I am dancing inside. Hoping, dreaming
my insecurities cease.