Leave me be

 It is scary walking away from something that is comfortable. Yet knowing , in the end, that the level of toxicity is gone. Perhaps the bits that tear you apart is breaking free of keeping things secret.  

Those types of things are never healthy. So when slicing off that part of your life, sections of comfort are just plain hard to let go. Then when you realize keeping those experiences secret the only person you are hurting is yourself.

Those who ask you to keep that secret, hidden are really just asking you to stab yourself repeatedly. Why would you do that? Especially after being free of them in the first place?

See this is where I sit in solitude, allowing the tears of pain to fall because believe me, every aspect of this freeing is hurting me. Yet where does one go after?

Prayers, reaching inside yourself and discovering quirks about yourself.  You grow. Sure there will be times when you ask, was this the right decision and even contemplate whether opening the wound. Still I wait it out. Listen to music and paint. I read my bible and learn how I am worthy. How I can be me without destroying who I am.

See there is no reason to keep secrets that damage your spirit and unleash the negativity.  That just is demeaning. Why scar  yourself over and over again? What is the benefit here? Ah just helping. 

No. 

So yes listen to me, what is friendships if they are secret? No point. Life is messed up enough let us not add fuel to embers. I don't need another fire that can burn me from inside to out. 

Leave off and take care. Leave me be.