Miss me
I sit here screaming inside my mind as the things I could have, would have said in those last few moments. Yet I said nothing. Gathered my mind and was perplexed in the idea that your privilege was important enough for you to break silence to me. Just to tell me.
That is remarkable. I remember the last time we discussed things. Always this thing about someone else. Then the remarks that left us unhooked was something about dogs and their actions. With that of yours as well. I ended communications because I knew I was not getting through. Why waste my energy when the door was sealed tight.
Hard to believe that a year and half later you would reach out to say something to me. Miss me. How, what does that even mean? How do you miss someone you don't speak to for a year and a half? Was it a constant thought or the quick intakes of time? Seriously, though what was missed?
Then to tell me you are regaining your privileges again, very soon. How can I not be happy for you? Yet why bother to say you miss me when you really didn't mean it? Even more so by saying you know me. Do you really?
Ah the echoing thoughts I have well into the weeks following. And am I mad? Not entirely. Why did it take you so long to say you missed me? Why say something now, when all it can do is bring questions and pain? Why would you do that?
And yes a vessel you are. Jehovah used you well. I got the message.
But you did not miss me. You thought you knew me, so well that the loneliness you had was necessary to speak to me. Alas, I am not sorry for sounding bitter. It is not bitterness that fills me but confusion. If you had truly missed me, you would have said something sooner.
So now I am pushed to find out more. Yet I have to wait. All in all, I think you only did it to serve your purpose. And pray tell, what was it?
For I know it wasn't me you missed but all those you now get to speak to. For if it truly were me, you would have reached out sooner. As for that, well all I hope for you is for you to find your fill. Find what completes the person you are.
For I am sure, it wasn't me. I, too, was a vessel.
You can agree or disagree. I care not. Yet truth is real. And you missed nothing of me just people that you loved. I am not one of those.
That is remarkable. I remember the last time we discussed things. Always this thing about someone else. Then the remarks that left us unhooked was something about dogs and their actions. With that of yours as well. I ended communications because I knew I was not getting through. Why waste my energy when the door was sealed tight.
Hard to believe that a year and half later you would reach out to say something to me. Miss me. How, what does that even mean? How do you miss someone you don't speak to for a year and a half? Was it a constant thought or the quick intakes of time? Seriously, though what was missed?
Then to tell me you are regaining your privileges again, very soon. How can I not be happy for you? Yet why bother to say you miss me when you really didn't mean it? Even more so by saying you know me. Do you really?
Ah the echoing thoughts I have well into the weeks following. And am I mad? Not entirely. Why did it take you so long to say you missed me? Why say something now, when all it can do is bring questions and pain? Why would you do that?
And yes a vessel you are. Jehovah used you well. I got the message.
But you did not miss me. You thought you knew me, so well that the loneliness you had was necessary to speak to me. Alas, I am not sorry for sounding bitter. It is not bitterness that fills me but confusion. If you had truly missed me, you would have said something sooner.
So now I am pushed to find out more. Yet I have to wait. All in all, I think you only did it to serve your purpose. And pray tell, what was it?
For I know it wasn't me you missed but all those you now get to speak to. For if it truly were me, you would have reached out sooner. As for that, well all I hope for you is for you to find your fill. Find what completes the person you are.
For I am sure, it wasn't me. I, too, was a vessel.
You can agree or disagree. I care not. Yet truth is real. And you missed nothing of me just people that you loved. I am not one of those.
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