My reaching, my connection

When you find the language that really reaches your heart, Jehovah's words dance across your face. The beauty and depth of them soar inside your spirit. How else should you go but listen to Jehovah and reach for such connection.

In my hopes the dreams are there too. I will soar high and grow deep. This is the mighty parts of Jehovah pulling me.

Some days you can fight but why? Why argue with the father who knows you best and knows what is best for you? Why deny yourself the means of growth?

Did I think I would leap into anything Jehovah pushed me towards, oh no. I am too cautious, over think way too much and admitting the right move is usually the last in my book.

However I began to think Jehovah's pushing was at the wrong time. Yet I have come to learn that I have done all that was asked of me. I begged, prayed and searched for months to conclude Jehovah's words in my mind and heart were wrong.

Still I have come to realize not to fight with Jehovah.  Let him guide, counsel and discipline me. Molding me to the child and mature adult I must become.

Yet even with that realization I just did NOT want to let go. Let go of what? Jehovah has shown me whatever I let go now will be rewarded one hundred fold.

This is scary but to trust in Jehovah I must take the steps. Making a permanent place for me. A way to grow and expand, to experience the words of Jehovah deep inside.

Yes. I have to admit I am scared. Losing and wandering around.  Yet I know I really won't be lost nor will I be seeking answers where none can be made.

I have grown to learn it's okay to walk away. Otherwise how else can you grow. Expand in your understanding of what is really a deep spiritual awakening. 

So here I am finally saying to Jehovah,  I am listening. Took the first steps last night. Really nerve wracking and I list a lot of sleep over it. At that point I was still arguing with Jehovah.

So now the tiny steps in growth are the first leaps of faith in Jehovah. How can I argue or even heavily debate where Jehovah is wrong in his path for me?

Who am I to be disobedient? Not a loving child if I keep ignoring what Jehovah is saying.

So now it is just putting all the dominos in the precise location. More prayer and lots of meditation in hopes that Jehovah's words are not only heard in my heart and mind but others.

Obviously I am a hard headed child that needs the swift kick in the rear to sit and listen.