My prayer after hindering

O went from thinking I was someone to realizing I am just a hurtful person. How dare I hinder someone progress in Jehovah's organization. How dare I even say I am such a person?

Oh Jehovah give me the strength to help pick up the pieces. Breaking every step to the last. Killing me inside worse than that death of my sister.

Worse than the steps of leaving my children in a lost world. Oh how I pray when I see the truth and how much I want to stab myself. How could I have been so selfish. So cruel.

Still I understand your ways. As much as it hurts I cannot hurt someone else. It draws me down so hard.

Please Jehovah help me. Help me to stand inside my weaknesses and be strong. My words must be something, they must mean something.

Oh how can I walk in my footsteps knowing I have hindered. How do keep moving when all there is left to do is lay down and sleep.

My once pulling point is ringing right. But still it must have been wrong.

I am grateful for the correction. I am grateful for the slap in my face. I cannot continue wrongly. I have to pick up the pieces and go forth.

Being the humble child and small baby I am. Indeed it hurts. It scars me deep. Yet I must move forward.

Pray time will tell. Oh I hope it does.