Swallowing my cry

  I can't cry to you.  Taking the
river to swallow me and still I remain
quiet.

   Must be the best route to insanity.
Perhaps that is the game you adore.
One more knocking at your door
after freshly leaving behind a scene.

  Terrible how the stream of emotions
get caught.  Simple are the hopes but
keep moving is the best dream yet.

  No notion of stopping for a view
after.  Finalizing the pain to the
true depth. Indeed the cruelty I
allowed.

   Funny.  Crazy.  Bratty. Nevermind
the true grit that holds me together.
No longer does it matter. Just keeping
tall.

   My mind fines me every time I
wander.  The ideas placed and erased.
Proper how it should be but dispair
erodes the soul.

  Simple in appearance but untangling
decades of sorrow. Indeed I find
it a tedious process but I keep holding
on.  To what you may inquire -a dream.
Mine.

  Yet nothing like that means anything.
Just words that float in the air.
Crowding the night with senseless
denial.  Yes sleep I beckon just to
cradle the hope for a while longer.

  Perhaps crazy or bratty but me.
Why change for you since you can't
for me.