Convenience of time

I won't dare cry. Don't need some
saying oh a Mary moment. How dare
I feel.

Funny how convenience only goes
one way. Sadly it's supposed to go
both ways.

I open up so much, maybe too much.
Still is it enough? Is it?

The mind races in a pitiful dance.
Perhaps that is the game. The reality
of waiting. Does it matter when words
are not kept? 

Maybe. To convenience. Cheers.

Once when words are said I like
to feel the truth in them. Not the
waiting.

Sadly I will only complain here and
"understand" to you. Just the
endurance I have learned.

Still dare you say I am crazy or
inviting the backing up. No. Nor
am I having my "Mary" moment.

Just enduring and walking on.

Just understand when I give freely
I hope the same. Still I do receive.
In fact I may be inviting you to call
me selfish, naive or jealous.

Still see passed all that and look
at the words spoken in your
convenience. So be grateful I only
complain here. That my anger or
disappoint is only expressed here.

For the silence of Mary is good when
misunderstanding and waiting are
pressed.

So I invite you to get miffed, which
I rarely evidently see happen, and
then wonder why I don't talk about
what you do that really riles me.

Because I cannot afford to have
silence from you. I can only say
in my words I understand.  I
know days such as these demand
attention.

So no I cannot be mad that you
had a beautiful day enjoying
what was given on an outing .
Yet I can be "understanding "
that I am not given words of
genuine meaning when you speak
to me in your convenience.

Yes I understand many things.
I understand I am a lesser thing
only in the sense of priorities.

Yes I understand a great many
things but I shall not complain
to you of my problems of convenience.

I am gold for being so patient,
understanding and kind. Haha
you probably say as you are inclined
to add the crazy Mary moment to
your thoughts.

Pardon me for being too much
of the understanding one. Yes
I am miffed but you'll only hear
it here.