Learn for once

     Does the pain never be shown?
Can the favor be shown? The laughter
rubbed into the face. Ha. Does it
make you feel human to express
the twisting of my hurt?

    Does that bring joy to you? Can
you even grasp the level of pain it
causes me? Oh no. Oblivious many
see. Yet what does it matter. I am
nothing but the side show to your
main ride.

   I am sorry if I show rudeness or
a jealous streak when I am trying
so hard to stand tall on your presence.
So sorry I cannot be the one that
tells you I am torn nor that the words
given are tearing me apart.

   No. I try to stand tall. Walking
away before tears stream down
my face. Pardon my weaknesses.

    Tear me apart if you want but
sometimes reach the limit. I can't
always be the one you can do that to.
I too am human. I feel.

   Here I sit in the cooling darkening
sky. So tired of your pleasing rubbing
of words. Do you not hear my cries to
stop the acid pouring? Do you even
listen? Yet what does it matter?

    Some days I am off. You want only
to talk but I don't.  Still I do but why?
Don't you get me yet? I do all that
I can to please, keep people happy
yet no one tries to see I am exhausted
of holding the pillars.

   Still what does it matter? Silly I was
to believe I mean anything to anyone.
A joke I hold dearly to. Funny.

    I only hope that the tears cease in
the coldness. Soon I can walk back into
my house with my head held up. The
breathing of sadness to end.

   Sure I have a red face because I
cried. What else can I do when I just
want to yell at the brick wall of your
ears.

   Silence in my ragged breath. Typical
of how I must deal with the constant
showings of things that just pull
my seams apart.

   Walk. Walk. Breathe.  Cry. Hope.
Pray that you see just how much things
do hurt me.

   Tired of always saying them to you.
Learn for once.