A memory seen

    The experience of closing my eyes
I see my sister. A bit of joy is found
as I cry with hope. Yet sadness overcomes
me as I cannot hear her words.

   A soft recollection of a memory.
Yes it must be for images displayed
can only be. Her words I do not hear
but her radiant love I do feel. The
warmth of the sunshine dancing
around her. Indeed I am in a dream.

   A move to adjust my arms in my
sleep and she fades into the
opened window, a memory block
closed.

   I try to explain, to grasp at her
fingertips but she just smiles.
A gentle tear falls down freckled
paleness. Alarming awake I become.

    Trying so hard to regain the depth of
the patterns I only fail to realize
the thoughts around the joy. Once
heard, once felt. Oh how I melt from
just enjoying her laughter,  her
smile.

    A bit of sorrow echoes because no
words were understood and I am
left curious by why this memory
drifted before me. The sigh of
excitement in whether I tell my
mother or not. Noting only the
disparate she may engulf.

    I do say something in regards
to the dream, no longer is it one of
joy I felt but of the strengthening
stabs of fire I inflict upon my mother.

    Still a sore notion inside my mother.

   How can I be a good daughter, when
her perfect child is gone? How can
I step into my sister's footprints?

    Alas once again the dream is
insignificant once more and the
silence drags anger. I tried to be
joyous and yet I released the dragon.

   Never an intention and still I am
to blame. A sigh escapes my lips.
I hold onto the hope that is sitting
inside of me. Clearly I have to be
strong in these moments. Endure
to the best of abilities.

    A sadness as I close my eyes once
more, thankful I got to see the
radiance of my sister happy, smiling.
My hope.

   Unclear to why I recalled this
tidbit in time but the emotions gathered
are exquisite.  The bitterness my mother
may feel against me cannot smear
this grandness given. Even though time
only lasted 30 seconds it was still for me.

   Now I sigh. Leaning into the afternoon.
Praying the day unwinds to find
tiny whisps of laughter, the glory of
love wiggling into the sorrow and the
hugs of the evening hours to explore
a watery dance.

   Perhaps a gentle tug at my heart
as the calm entertains the wind.
Perhaps somewhere there are two
little girls swirling - one red and one
blond.

   A smile to crease across roses.
Maintaining a extended stay of days.
Perhaps a glimpse of sparkle in
violet blues. Indeed the stars giggle.