I just needed to get out

                  I had to get out. Feeling of choking in a
loving home. The mind swirls as the irritation builds.
Such an overwhelming emotion.

                  A bit of grasping at straws I find myself
in an old place. Seated at a table that just makes me
smile. Pulling me out of the sadness that places
tiny spikes of pain.

                 Shh I say to the mind. No need for tears,
no need for another bit of tying. Just holding
myself strong. Then the sighs come.

                The hot white mocha falls through teeth
and tongue. Caressing my throat with a much needed
calm.

                So much thrown at me. So much must be done.
Still I keep walking higher. Looking forward as the
stupidity of emotions find dust swarming them. So
clearly I need to fade. Yet do I?

                 Dare I say anyone else hurt me. Dare I
be bold and point fingers. No. Just swallowing
me, breathing my calm I am capable of soaring.

                 Did you see my strength? Of course.
Did you see my weakness? Who knows. It still is
there behind all the smiles, behind all the confident
building, behind all the strengthening days.

                 Yet could you see? My day of need.
Indeed I will not play for a selfish female. I will
not beg for attention. I will not create the drama
you so love. I will not. That isn't me.

                So here I sit, sipping my coffee, dreaming,
hoping and praying for one opportunity to be
free to express me. Alas here it stays.

                Not a selfish brat. Just a quirky daisy
loving brat. Some changes made but still worth
the investment.

               Oh now I shove back sniffles, red eyes and
a few fallen tears. Just needed to get out. Just needed
to breathe. Indeed just a drive to clear up my
disappointment, my hurt and my raging emotions.