A hurting voice

            Something about the rolling over the lessons
of my father just scratch nails down a chalkboard.
The hints of such severe negativity. The life
experiences that just beckon for the cynic to come
crawling out.

           The words of Jann Ardan's "Insensitive"
just forms over and over. Kindly I am reminded
of how well my father taught the showing of emotions.
The hatred of him even showing them. Interestingly
how so much I built. So much I strived to be opposite
of him.

       Ah and yet I am drawing the knowledge his
gave, expressed towards this subject.

       The eeire sound of myself halting in front
of the words so much drilled inside of me. How
to just step away when over and over I have
handled my emotions for all to advance from. How
that helps me I am unclear.

      The weakness that Jehovah see has to be worth
it. The strength I gain from every hurt, from every
stabbing has to mean there is some positive in the
learning.

       So pardon my distance and cold demeanor. I
shall not want another to gain advantage over me.

      So listen friend, yes distance and coldness hurts
but I don't know what else to be. If there is any warmth
inside it must drawn out.

      Your turn today. I don't know what else I can do
to turn off the rolling lyrics and the voice of my
father. So show me something new for I do so need
some advice.