A Dreamed Walking

 There was once a time when I thought all that mattered was one moment. One person and one frozen bits of glass that danced across my memory. In some ways it was so sacred that even my days were rushed just so I could dream again. And in my silent breaths I heard my name said, but was it just my name or was it the heat in the voice that called me?

Oh so many night I laid crying out in hopes I meant something. Yet, today and days leading up, I find my name is only in held in my breath. My thoughts are directly impacted by how I view a noise, a second of time and how I stand upright or slouched. In my past I was always groomed to be plain or hidden so not to draw attention, even though somehow, I still did. 

And though I still saw myself as that temptation, I do not note the glances much now nor the whispers. For me the sighs that roll into my night time hours, find themselves lonely. Only because dreams rarely come at night and my tears do not stain my face nor my pillows. They are dried and internalized. Not to make me absorb the emotions but to pick up and carry forward.

Do I still dream of one person when I dream? Not so much as s dream but caressed memories and more likened to hope. Yet that does not scare nor torment me. I am still capable of silence and life. 

Not one is bad nor good. They are balanced. But how, you may ask? I will tell you love is abundant in many ways. Goodness is felt, experienced in a variety of ways. Kindness and grace are held in the same hand while trials and troublesome times do find cracks in my armour.  I still can say all is growth in the tiniest grain of sand to the droplets of rain evaporated into the sky. 

All finds just one step towards the mind of hope and a dream of faith. In that time, I would like for this one to know, a voice can quake my fiber and rock my core. And even though I stay quiet, my thoughts do sends currents throughout the night air. 

So as this night, early morn shakes us awake from one dream walking, remember a half century old red is still a good one who will listen with concern and care. All the while hoping for small glimmer of reciprocated trust and generosity. 

One can be curious. To be such, a question can light the flame of what can be a life-long joy and contentment. Only needs to be approached. 

Yet I never push nor do I chase. I just wait as time is requesting me to do. And that is what matters now. The company of life is simple. Some would laugh but if ever a certain amount of discernment and even negativity braces the barriers, I do know what to do. I am prepared. But does one know that?

All I can remain is finding my joy, hold onto a steadfast mindset and sit in contentment.  I do not ask anyone to join, but all are welcome if they dare to be seated with me. 

One such as I can only hope. And that is why dreams do not just remain in the night hours but reach throughout the days. 

Silence is not being alone but being self aware and even self disciplined. Silence is not absence. It is boisterous joy that can only be given freely when love sits within. 

So perhaps I am not here to question anything, beyond that - maybe not even to grasp all of the concept but I reocgnize that I am willing to understand and even learn. Can you say the same thing, honestly?