Sitting still on a teeter totter

 Ever just sit still in your own thoughts? Loosen the ideas that teeter totter between dream and reality? Ever just exhale and feel a supreme calm? 

Ah I wanted to say words that meant something but for some to hear them, definition isn't clear. Clarity is only given over to those who want, desire to dig deeper.

Though, truthfully I cannot see many treading down that pathway. Oh no not a negative thought but just reality.

When you come to realize tears and contentment can be in the same moment, the spirit does so much to hold up. Alas the mind is but one of the organs that thrive in these moments.

As still as the bitter cold morning, my thoughts remain upon a subject or two. Such openness to who I am pours out and yet all I can do is close the door again.

Thinking. Dreaming. Hoping. 

In just those three actions I soar but the ground hits hard when you fall over. I sat through two movies only to realize that the hopes of a simple dream, unfolded jagged. 

I need no requests. I have none to ask nor do I dare entertain in my mind that anyone would honor me. In the stillness of the soaked, freckled cheeks I just lay my hand to swipe away the coldness building. 

See I don't have to read a storybook to discover what goodness I have. Nor do I have wait upon the lies of others to pass me through the day. This is my wisdom.

Though in attaining such wisdom I must crack every once in a while. Realizing just how imperfect I am as a human. When those broken pieces of me are welded I am grateful for the lessons given. The experiences I can stack upon my files.

See I thought to maintain calm, joy and contentment I would need someone to build dreams and hopes with. Now I see just how wrong that is. 

So no requests from me. No sparing the few cents of time. No waves are necessary. Nothing prepares you for what is blazing as truth. Sometimes the hardest sob to swallow is knowing being alone is a solid contentment not confinement. 

And when you realize the openness you have of yourself, this chaos breaks into tiny particles. See I don't want just any human to stand with me. Yet to even voice that face to face is severe. I cannot breath the words from my vocals down to my lips. 

This is why I maintain coolness. Still. Patience. Best way for me not to knock over anyone who attempts to harm my spirit and my soul. A defensive tactic that has been widely used over and over. Proven to be guaranteed. 

Perhaps not what I want but the basics are covered and life is full of  colors. So which one do I lean towards? The truth because the only bonafide answer.

Clearly stillness prevails and calm brings upon contentment and patience. That is where I am now. So request lyrics and sweet swaying rhythms to pull you through your day, just recall at one time it was me.