Dig, ask.
What to say when you feel the way you do? I mean I close my eyes. I let my tears fall. I fall to the floor and I just let go. So easy to write down what really is ticking inside my mind and my heart. My soul just screams but my lips do not move.
Tears slide down my face in a stone cold expression. All the while making my face a red joke. Clearly I just need to be the emotionally attached person. Not trying to please everyone and being okay with people seeing the insecure side of me. Yes sometimes I am complex. This type of person that is tormented by the emotions I have but unclear whether it is safe to even let any one see what is boiling inside of me.
And today was just one of those days I just let it all go. I came crashing outside the barrier only to find no one was listening. It is a sounding board of clear vibration within the wind. Obviously just scattering my random but torn emotions to silence. Am I okay with that? Yes.
I never intended anyone to ask me how I am feeling. Nor do I expect anyone to care if I was not feeling quite right. Shrugs. Whatever I am going through, either you deeply are concerned or there is just a fake wall of curiosity. Whichever it is, I will never know. For they both sound similar unless shown something different.
Yet even in that I have revealed too much. Exploring just home much I do want someone to ask. I mean more like dig in wanting to know. Yet, still. I do not. Contradictory, I know. Complex and full of inexperience in letting someone deeply placed, rooted inside my core.
And what do I say now? What does my mind expand on? I want to say yet, no, no reason to. That is how I let the tears slide. How I let the mind walk down a memory path. How I just let my night soak into the early morning hours. That is how I express what I am feeling.
I tell you here. I let my word press here. And I hope you listen. Sometimes I just need to be ask, interrogated. Yet that would mean you want to know. And I do not dare to assume anything.
So I just leave my silence and a smile.
Tears slide down my face in a stone cold expression. All the while making my face a red joke. Clearly I just need to be the emotionally attached person. Not trying to please everyone and being okay with people seeing the insecure side of me. Yes sometimes I am complex. This type of person that is tormented by the emotions I have but unclear whether it is safe to even let any one see what is boiling inside of me.
And today was just one of those days I just let it all go. I came crashing outside the barrier only to find no one was listening. It is a sounding board of clear vibration within the wind. Obviously just scattering my random but torn emotions to silence. Am I okay with that? Yes.
I never intended anyone to ask me how I am feeling. Nor do I expect anyone to care if I was not feeling quite right. Shrugs. Whatever I am going through, either you deeply are concerned or there is just a fake wall of curiosity. Whichever it is, I will never know. For they both sound similar unless shown something different.
Yet even in that I have revealed too much. Exploring just home much I do want someone to ask. I mean more like dig in wanting to know. Yet, still. I do not. Contradictory, I know. Complex and full of inexperience in letting someone deeply placed, rooted inside my core.
And what do I say now? What does my mind expand on? I want to say yet, no, no reason to. That is how I let the tears slide. How I let the mind walk down a memory path. How I just let my night soak into the early morning hours. That is how I express what I am feeling.
I tell you here. I let my word press here. And I hope you listen. Sometimes I just need to be ask, interrogated. Yet that would mean you want to know. And I do not dare to assume anything.
So I just leave my silence and a smile.
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