Prayers

Surprising how I shut myself down once
more. Tomorrow I can chalk my missing
as a lofty illusion. This kindness to explain
may just show how dull I feel completely.

Not quite an emptiness and not quite
a darkness. Gray matter. The granules that
help defind the presence of a spirit. I am not
lost but in a circle turning. My hope is to
step from the sphere and move.

Bits of me fly out of hand. Tossed to
the salty air. Discarded to the dense earth.
Yet there is positive motion. My depth is
not cold. No ice has formed. Just the switch
from blazing hot to low embers.

The cautious sweetness defines me at this
moment. My head is cracked. The thoughts
are in a stand still and portions of my
sight are blinded.

No. I am well capable of using my
senses, including sight but the reasons
are different. No more is there this unyielding
desire to explore yesterday. Yet nor will
I pursue tomorrow.

I am only left in today. Most of me
says stand back, breathe. Then take the leap.

Yet where I know not but I
make new goals and I lean into the only
prayers and faith I have.

And that surprises me the most.