I let the light in

Hatred and revenge served me well for so many years. Decidedly to be the cold, heartless monster my father was. I hoped big to be exactly like him. Famed and owning many people. Bending them in fear and at whim.

These days I cringe in the thought that at one point in my life the power was my main priority and to destroy anyone I could.

So scary that even destroying myself was on point as well. Carefully looking back, the rational bits of this shy girl give kind laughter to some and tears to others. In a way, vindictive and distasteful sarcasm was ideal. Oh how I do not miss those days.

Perchance the safety of love I grew to understand. The layers of roughness shattered down and the smiles began to emerge.

The softness is there. A small glimmer of truth, of hope still holds me tight. Indeed the kindness of love.

Yes hatred and revenge, vindictive, slicing words and razor sharp sarcasm was my defense.  Now it is just patience,  tears and dreams.

No longer the heart strings pulling the need to walk with evil. Nor be one who reviled in the wake of darkness.

I let the light into my life. It is time you did too. First let me hug you.