Forgiveness is the greatest power

           I fall down and drag myself once more to my
feet. Crushed inside a moment. Holding onto a memory.
Not one that is kind and yet the lesson holds strong.

           How does one move? Indeed the question is
held, circling above. Ah yes endurance. The levels of
extreme are pressed and presence is viewed. None
too important but still necessity.

         Vacant are the gloss but vivid is the change.
Yet none see because so buried. Ah the cynical
laughter explodes and the cycle is trained once more.
Vicious but enduring.

         Funny how I look into those memories and
recall the embarrassment pressed. I note the promise
of care replaced by the steel of stern officals.

        Indeed choking on cotton mouth as I try my
best to leave the past where it belongs. No longer
hurting who I am now. Indeed the cycle stopped.

        A long sigh is exhaled as the world closes
down. I emerge from the rumble and am fondly
reminded of the loss of my executioner. The last
fall of that voice.

       Still you ask, you wonder if I ever forgave?
Being a true Christian of Jehovah's? Yes. As
damaging as the ripples still effect today, I
did allow the revenge, the hatred to be erased
from my heart.

      The hardest step I took. Freeing myself from
the tumbling degradation. Indeed Jehovah lifted,
carried me through those days leading up to. Jehovah
held me tightly as I sat through the air, hoping
the words meant something deep, if my change
was anything.

      Does it matter if there was no profound shock
of the one? No. Had I expected any motivation my
jailer of childhood would have lost interest. My
only hope was that the forgiveness did not die.
That my words of kindness, of love echoed every
second of his waking walk.

     Just the freedom of not looking back, being
scared of a mere human truly an amazing feeling.
Such a beauty of the simple things.

     Does that change who I am now, yes. To recall the
day I gained freedom was an experience worthy of
praises to Jehovah. For had Jehovah not been with
me I would not have been strong enough to allow
myself a small bit of peace.

      Perhaps to my family, my friends I do not
exploit the darkness of my life, my childhood. For
those hidden places Jehovah helps me to erase.
For that I only hope of support. I know one day
someone will ask and I shall answer but for now
I strive to endure through present obstacles.

       All I can say to those who are tormented:
no I do not know your steps. I only know mine. Yet
the will to forgive is the power you wield over
your assailant. The right you have, is love but forgiveness
is key. (Proverbs 17:9 and Matthew 6:14,15 NWT)

      Yes those steps are hard. The deep realization
that is forgotten, love is allowed to you. Now seemly
it is difficult to accept and a cloud of uncertainty
presses over you but Jehovah promises, "I would
not forget you." (Isaiah 49:15)

     So many Scriptures I went in seeking for,
to question, to gain advice over my steps in forgiving.
Yet the one that moved me the most was that
of Psalm 27:10 followed by Isaiah 41:10, 64:8. How could
I be afraid? All that was my concern was
placed before me. Jehovah helps all his children,
loves each one of us for even John 3:16 tells
of his love for us all.

    Indeed I implore those who have heavy weights
of damaging childhoods pressing against them to
seek Jehovah in prayer as I did. I know my steps
were similar to fighting fire and walking on shards
of glass but the results, the relief of finally being
able to love ~ now that is a gift only Jehovah
could give.

    Now, so happy of the day I gave a lesson. One
simple handshake to bear. Ah yes a sigh, even now,
rids of the exhaustion of darkness hovering. So
much to give thanks to Jehovah, God for.

    I honestly will never know how much peace that
person will have and if it moved them to question
their actions but I am grateful to have said
my piece. Forgiving them of the damaging lessons
in life.

    Still my dear friend, I hope I did not shock
you. Voicing a moment of darkness I overcame.
Perhaps I am glad to finally say something more
than being quiet.

    Ah and the tears fall from the love I am
engulfed in. All thanks to my newfound family.
Jehovah's children.

   My dearest beloved friend, one more lesson
you learned of this friend. Indeed steps only
Jehovah could help me take. So smile for me,
with me and one day hold me.