Kindness explained

Just one step immune to me.
A silent musical begins.  The twirling
of dancers and yet no meaning.
A laugh echoes as the legs draw
closer.

A name.  At last I crack a whip in
the air and attention is reached.
Still it means nothing. 

Alas what else to do but sit in the
darkened room as tears pull from
storms.

The rancid emotion. The necessary
measurements to stay real.  Oh how
they prove to be fake.  Only imagery
to keep all away.

The silence is best unheard.  The
screams best tucked in.  Indeed
the pain is deep but I lay only a blank
page before you.

Not yet do I ask.  I just wait.  Walking
in a haze.  Daring my will to keep going.
For what I demand.  Indeed the
steps show.

Will I allow the truth to show? No.
My experiences are to just forget.
The hope of that being a reality.
This is where the cynical being
approaches.

Willingly letting a hello to quake inside.
Then placed in a jar to rekindle
in sweet memory of a lost hope.

Oh how I tremble in this chair.  The
waking cries beckon for a voice and
I slap it away.

Never.  Never do I want to be destroyed
by hatred in a voice.  Ah but that was
the intention and I understood.

Beg your pardon for caring.  Beg you,
I did, not to make me feel.  Yet
you opened.  Then you broke.  Just
as you gained,  as planned.

Well me of yesterday would have sought
out ways to harm.  Now I cannot.
Yes I tripped.  I even tried to lock
away. Still that solves nothing.

Just as you reminded me.  Nothing.
Kindness in your words but bitter
heat is what was found.  So I thank
you for the treatment.

Alas I understand what dirt I will
always be.

Kindness explained.